I'm in such a mood today. I was listening to "Good Mother" by Jann Arden this morning and I nearly broke down on the side of the highway in weepy convulsions.

1) The Lasagna Method of Dishwashing - A.K.A. The Layering Effect, which is, of course, a layer of dishes, then soap, then another layer of dish, then another few squiggles of soap. It doesn't actually clean the dishes, but all the required elements are there. Just add water, and you're done!

2) UTILITIES, UTILITIES, UTILITIES - Without long distance phone, the Internet, and cable, I'd be a raving lunatic, walking the streets in nothing but my felt slippers and a tiara.

3) The Level Was Invented Post World War II - I have yet to encounter a level floor. They all slope this way and that. My daily walk on the shoulder of Highway #7 is the most level plain my feet encounter.

4) Handheld Shower Heads are Fun - But we already knew that, didn't we?

5) Bean Sprouts are Only $0.30 a Package - And last just about as long. Sadly, it is the most exotic produce in our grocery store.

6) I DO Live in Grecoville, Sorta - Yup, there is a Greco here (though rumour has it it's not a 'real' Greco. I have yet to become desparate enough to try it out), but it doesn't deliver. Who ever heard of a Greco that doesn't deliver?

7) I Live for American Idol - I never used to watch American Idol, but it's the highlight of my week now. There's something about laughing at other people that makes me feel better about my life.

8) There are No Ghosts in My House - or, if there are, they don't care what I do. They don't seem to disapprove of any of the naughty stuff I do, which is nice.

9) I'm a Damn Good Cook - Yeah, that's right. I've discovered that vegetables take a long time to prepare, and that I cannot, no matter how well intentioned I am, eat a whole bag of spinash before it goes limp and weird.

10) And Finally.... - I know I need to be here, but I'd give my right tit to be home.

Most of you, I assume, are used to doing laundry in your typical washer/dryer. You put the clothes in the wash, take them out, put them in the dryer, and you're done.

Oh, you're so lucky.

I have what the locals call a 'spin washer'. It's a little smaller than a typical washer, but it has two compartments. The larger one is where you put your clothes. A hose attaches to your sink, and you use that to fill the washer. When it's full, you turn on the wash. Then, you drain it with a separate hose, and fill the wash again to rinse it. Then you drain again. When THAT'S done, you take the clothes out (no more than 3 or 4 articles at a time) and put it in the spin compartment. When that's finished, you put it in the dryer. Fewf.

I didn't know any of this when I started.

So, what I did was attach the hose to the sink (check), and I saw the water going into the washer (check), I then went to get some clothes to put in the washer (check). When I returned...

There was an inch of water in my kitchen.

Ack! And because the house is on a bit of a slant, all the water was pooling at the far end of my kitchen, almost spilling into my livingroom, and dangerously close (we're talking maybe 2 inches) from my computer, and a lamp I had plugged in and turned on. With both my feet in an inch of water, I held my breath, closed my eyes, and yanked the plugs out of the wall.

Fewf. I'm still alive!

So, I ran to the other end of the kitchen, threw my clothes on the table, and tried to figure out what was happening. I turned off the water. I ran into my bathroom to get my towels. I laid them on the floor, and they were soaked on contact. More towels. Still more towels. I tried the mop. Stupid piece of shit. More towels. I'm out of towels now. I gather up all the soaking wet towels and threw them in the sink (where there were still dirty dishes, but I'd worry about that later).

So, once there was at least some order restored, I went back to the washer to re-evaluate the situation. Well, upon inspection, I found that some MORON (probably me, or possibly my mother), had put the valve lever on "drain". So, all the water I was putting in the washer, was draining out the drain tube, which was lying on the floor.

Okay, so I got that figured out. I once again tried to fill the wash, with more success, but now, I couldn't get it to drain. Maybe it only liked to drain all over the floor? Perhaps. I called Delbert, who was useless because he's a man and had never used the washer. I called his neice, who was most helpful. Turns out I need to turn the washer on "wash" to drain the washer.

Logical, no?

Heh.

Okay, so I've now mastered the washer, which will henceforth be refered to as "The Bastard", which was what I called it a few times last night.

I'm happy to report almost everything is dry, and I'm not electrocuted.

Oh, and I have cable now! All 13 channels!

Indepedence rocks!

So, here I am, I guess. The move went spectacularly well. I'm completely spoiled. I have such great friends.

I tried to fight it for 2 days, but I eventually couldn't help myself, and I've fallen in love with my little house. It doesn't feel like some old lady's old house. It feels like mine. In the evening, after I get off from work, I take off my jacket, put on a sweater, and my slippers... the same slippers that were way too hot on my feet at home. I spend the evening trying to find something decent on TV, or finding something to organize. I go to bed underneath a big comfy goose down comforter. My sleep is uninterrupted.

So, the job. I feel incompetent and totally inexperience and unsure of myself. Yes, My Faithful Pep Squad, I know it will get better in time. In fact, today was better than the day previous. However, the other women who were in these position seemed to have been able to just pick up things and go with them. I'm not that sure of myself, at least just yet. I haven't gotten excited about anything yet.

I got all my utilities set up, so I'm connected to everyone again. I know it had only been a few days, but I was starting to feel lonely. It's so nice talking to people I don't have to impress... or at least make a first impression with.

Haha. I have the TV, stereo, computer, and about 3 superfluous lights on. My mother would kill me.


I'll be home on the weekend.

By the way, I checked out all my regular blogs, and no one updated! Get on it!

So, that's it. It's over now. My last day at this job. I had lunch with my Steering Committee. It was rather boring, as they don't do much but attend meetings every month. The only interesting one was in the hospital, so the conversation lacked a certain sparkle. Oh well. I got a $50 certificate from Staples, and some Tim's coffee/cappucino/hot chocolate. Any ideas what I should get at Staples? I guess I'll figure something out when I get there this weekend and figure out what I need.

Then there was a little going away party this afternoon. To my surprise, a lot of people showed up. It was nice to see everyone, and I got pictures with all my boyfriends. Little Reg even told me he loved me. *sniff*

I got some loot, too. A few cards, of course, more Tim's coffee, a few strange little doodads, and some chocolates, oh, and cash, which is always nice to have. I also got a giant balloon flower made by a clown who tormented to no end with his projects that he made me do.. not only that but watched over my shoulder the whole time I worked on them.

I think I've become the queen of run-on sentences, eh?

So, now I'm just waiting around. To my horror, there are a few people still in the center, even when they know it's my last day. Jerks. It's 4:00pm. I'm leaving at 4:30 whether they like it or not.

Tonight, I will go home and shower (again, to my horror, I can't recall the last time I took a shower... I've been hopping all over the place lately, and it doesn't seem I've been home for more than a few minutes at a time). Then, I will load the truck in preparation for our early departure tomorrow morning. I think we're going to have a veritable caravan of people to help with the transition. By golly, I think I may run out of bedrooms!

Then, it's over to Sarah's for drinking. I haven't not had a drink in a few weeks, so I hope my tolerance isn't too high.


Anyway... This may be my last post, for a little while anyway. I need to get a phone and 'net connection. Hopefully that will be sooner rather than later, but I'll still be reachable on my cell phone, so feel free to call (in the evening or weekend, of course..). I'll post news as early and often as I can!

And my day started with being bit by a dog.

Actually, my day started off a little better than that, but...

So, I finally met with Paul last night. He got me 4 CD's with the $100 I gave him last winter. Glenn Gould - Live in Salzburg & Moscow, The Beatles - Revolver, Philip Glass - Glassworks, David Bowie - The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars.

It wasn't really what I had expected, but I'm pretty excited about.

Off to have lunch with my committee.

You know you've lived an interesting life when you get an email like the following:

From : Sonja
Sent : January 13, 2004 1:18:17 AM
To : XXXXXXX
Subject : jenn

| | | Inbox

hey Jenn!

Paul was telling me you're going to NS for work. Congratulations. I hope you're happy about your path.

(Oh, by the way, my old name was (to protect the innocent, let's say.. Bob Smith) . I've been in transition (hormones and everything) from male to female since last year. It turns out that I'm a transsexual dyke.)

Will you be in Hxxxx? I hope things are going well with you! I'm in Mxxxx
for the next few years to save money for surgery.

Peace,

Sonja

What makes this email even more interesting is that Bob and I once had a bit of a tryst, based solely on the fact that we were two rather adventurous, sensual people. I can't beat that, though.

It's my last week here, and I feel like everything is starting to fold in on me. Last night I felt myself just shutting down from exhaustion. I had a headache all weekend, and I just felt out of sorts. I've had a lump in my throat for about a week, and I'm not sure if it's psychosomatic, or I'm getting a cold. Or both, I suppose. Last night I fell asleep at 9 o'clock. I woke up this morning sans headache, thankfully. However, as I was on my way to work at my usually time, it dawned on me that I promised UW I would come in this morning at 8am and help them out with a few things. Dang! So, I'll have to remember to go in tomorrow.

The little girl is preparing for another tantrum in my head. She's at that stage now where her eyes are welling up and her face is turning red and she's holding her breath. I advise everyone to take cover, cuz she's gonna blow.

I bring you, the Dullest Blog in the World.

I really don't have many decent pictures of my friends. Most of them are blurry, or are taking an arm's length away. And a lot of them are just those silly shit-eating-grin poses that everyone has a million of.

So, I have this disposable camera with a few pictures left in them, and I've decided to make a montage of me kissing all my favorite people. I think if I frame it nice and stuff, it will look really neat, and will tell a lot about myself. So, you all have to participate, as a going away present. Even my parents.

Forget what your parents told you.

So, I made the announcement today. I've had quite a few people ask me the same 3 questions, so I've already formulated a automatic answer. The trickiest one was 'what will you be doing'? After disclosing my job title to a few people, I got a few raised eyebrows, so I think I may change my answer from "sex educator" to "working with Planned Parenthood". It's not that I really care what they think, but there are some really crazy people in here, and the last thing I want to do today is get into a debate with the feeble.

So, it's my last weekend in Moncton, folks. Yup. The packing is going quite well, so if nothing else tonight, I'll hide away in my (increasingly bare) room and get drunk whilst looking through old yearbooks or something. I still haven't gone through my closets yet, though. Most of the stuff in there is stuff that I'd like to not have to throw out, but it'd be nice if I could sell it or something. How come there aren't yard sales in January? Hey, if any of you out there have been eyeing anything of mine, now's your time!

Why is it I'm more tolerant of the cold outside, than in? I was downright reveling in the brisk air this morning while waiting for the bus, but now that I'm in my office, I haven't been able to take my coat off for more than a few minutes at a time. Hm.

I've been going through my work computer to remove anything that I wouldn't want anyone else to see. There hasn't been much, surprisingly. I was thinking about removing all my course manuals from this computer, seeing as how it's my 'intellectual property' or some shit like that, but I don't know if that's the sort of mood I want to go out on. Then again, my successor should have to earn his/her keep.

I made one of my clients cry yesterday. She's probably my favorite. She's pretty young, relatively speaking, and was very easy to teach. On the other hand, she can't think for herself, and can be a bit of a pest. She sometimes acts like a child, which I have little patience for. Anyway, I told her yesterday, and the tears just started to run down her face. It broke my heart, but what can I say?

It's weird. For some of the residents in here, I feel like their family or something, because a lot of them don't get out a whole lot. There's a few here that I will really miss not seeing. And there are plenty of people that I can't wait to write out of my life.

Enough blabbering. I'm off to do some online banking, and face the horror that is my Visa bill.

This is a stupid post. I'm bored.


Breakfast. Look at it. After a while, it starts to look weird. Sinister, even. You have to wonder what criminal mastermind was behind the entymology of that word. Spooky.

I've been working my little tail off today, and I must say I'm pooped (too many bum puns?).

Also, my tummy is making weird noises.. It's not hunger, not gas.. It's like it's saying "I just want to be held". The poor little organ has been through a lot the last little while. Maybe I'll lay off the dairy for a little while, and give it time to quietly reflect.

Again in the 'Involuntary Bodily Noises' headlines, I've learned I'm a bit of a snoring machine. Eep. This has been an issue that has forced my parents to sleep in separate bedrooms on more than one occasion, and the thought of this happening to me and some future bedmate in the future causes me grief. I hate snorers. They're annoying and inconsiderate and loud and obnoxious, and most importantly, RESTED. I don't want to be that person. I want to be the demure, silent sleeper who takes up no more than 1/10th of the allocted bedspace, and has full control over all her bodily functions, auditory and otherwise. Alas, it is not in the cards.

This leads me to my next point.. Do you think deaf people are particularly well rested people? Really, the only things that would keep one awake have to do with eitheir noise or stress (or stress cause by noise)... but without half of the problems, they must have twice as good the sleep?

Anyway. This is just silly.

The Earth says hellllloooooooo...

Nothing really to blog today, but I felt it was time to come back. Not that I went very far, mind you. I'm still a little sleepy, so this post will no doubt be random and nonsensical.

I've been toying with the idea of chronicling my adventures in S. H. Maybe in blog form, maybe with ye olde pen and paper. It just seems like an interesting situation to write about, and have people read some day. I may get dialup at home, which gives me some webspace, so maybe that's what I'll do with it. Anyone have any suggestions?

I'm going to see Colin tomorrow. Mmmm... Head rubs. Head rubs with Rosemary Mint shampoo... MmmMmmm. It's only been about a month since I've seen him last, but I figure I need a trim before I go. There is only one hairstylist in S.H., and my boss did NOT recommend her. She said she did really good 'updos'. Ugh. I had visions of 6-year-old American Beauty Pageant Contestants with sequins and eyeliner and blond hair 4 feet off their head. I'll pass,thanks.

I went to go see Paycheck last night. It was decent, though I found the acting a bit over the top. Uma Thurman always seems to be a bit overtop, at bit too stylized, but I find she can pull it off because she always plays strong, unique roles. She was the supporting woman in this movie, and I found she just didn't quite fit. Also, there was something about this movie that made her look sort of old and gross. I don't know what it was, but it was icky. Anyway, it's worth a look. The story is decent and lots of shit gets blown up. Good date movie, heh.

Jeepers. The word is out about me leaving, and the sharks have picked up the scent. A few people have asked about the job already, and it's already gotten a little dirty. Yikes! I'm glad this won't be my problem! I'm not looking forward to training another person, because, let's face it, my organizational skills are hardly stellar, and probably downright appalling to anyone from the outside. I'm loathe to explain the intricacies of my filing system, both in my computer, and on my desk. Poor bastard.

So, I've realized why I've been such a mental patient. It's completely cliché and stereotypical, but I was PMS-ing. So, I'm starting to see things a little clearer now, and I'm started to get more excited. I'm bad to my old self, baby. :)